ARTICLES ON RELATIONSHIPS

DATE:  9 December 2001
SPEAKER:  Pastor Tayo Adeyemi
TITLE:  Understanding the law of connection III - Nurturing your God-ordained connections
TEXT:  Proverbs 13:20, 27:17, I Corinthians 15:33

Everybody is somebody because of who they are connected to. We are not solitary creatures - everyday we interact with countless numbers of people from different walks of life.
Even in this day when individualism is strongly promoted Genesis 2:18 is till true : "It is not good that man should be alone"
In Genesis 6:19,20, God commanded Noah to bring "…TWO OF EVERY KIND…" into the ark.
God was declaring that "Connection is neccessary for continuity". Even Jesus said "Where two or three are gathered in my name…" - Matthew 18:20 . "It takes at least two".
Your God-ordained connections are an integral part of your destiny. Your associations will determine your destiny. Who you run with will determine how you run, how fast you run, in what direction you run and how far you run. Proverbs 13:20, 27:17, I Corinthians 15:33.
The people we connect with determine who we become in life. Relationships are important. However, not all relationships are beneficial.
When God wants to bless you, He sends someone into your life. When the devil wants to destroy you, he also sends someone into your life. You have the responsibility to discern the role people are assigned to play in your life.
Everyone you come into contact with will fall into one of four categories: "ADDERS", "SUBSTRACTERS", "MULTIPLIERS", "DIVIDERS".
Be friendly and courteous to everyone, but be selective about who influences you. Never underestimate the power of influence. Like failure, influence is hardly ever drastic or obvious. Some relationships should be avoided because they sap away your life and blur your focus.
IN DETERMINING WHO GETS TO INFLUENCE YOU, YOU MUST LEARN TWO SKILLS:
1.The art of creating limited associationSome people you cannot completely avoid; but you can control the influence they have in your life.
How? By controlling the amount of time you spend with them.

2.The art of creating expanded associationIdentify the people, who add value to your life and arrange your schedule so you can spend more time with them. Even a small amount of time with the right people can make a great deal of difference.

SO THERE ARE A FEW QUESTIONS YOU MUST ASK YOURSELF
1.Who am I spending my time with?◦What kind of people are they?
◦What are their goals, their values, their world views their attitude to life.

2.What is their role in my life?It is your responsibility to discern the role that each person is assigned to play in your life.
◦Some are sent to mentor you - don't try to make them your pal.
◦Some are assigned to be your friend - don't make them a business partner.
◦Some are even sent to be mentored by you - don't make them your mentor.
◦Someone may qualify to mentor you in your career, but not in your spiritual life.
◦Don't confuse the roles people are assigned to play in your life.

3.What effect are they having on me?◦Where do they have me going? How have they got me thinking or talking?
◦What have they got me reading or watching or doing?
◦What has become acceptable or unacceptable since this relationship began?
◦How are they affecting my growth, my performance, my productivity, my creativity?
◦What am I becoming as a result of this connection?

4.Is this acceptable to me?
If your answer to the last question is No, then you must do something about that connection. Some you will sever. Others you will redefine.

In order to know how to redefine a relationship, you must understand the CONCEPT OF THE INNER CIRCLE. Everybody has the right to have AN INNER CIRCLE. President or Pauper, millionaire or milkman - you are entitled to your own INNER CIRCLE.
Your INNER CIRCLE may not be important to anyone else, but it is your INNER CIRCLE. It may not be the House of Lords or the White House cabinet it may not be a local golf club but it is your UNNER CIRCLE.
Jesus' INNER CIRCLE was not made up of the richest or most influential people in his day. He had limited association with people like Nicodemus, Zaccheus, other tax collectors etc but they were not in His INNER CIRCLE.
Now, since you are at the centre of this circle, you get to decide who qualifies to come in.
How do you decide who qualifies?
1.People who are unequivocally committed to God's word◦People who have an unapologetic commitment to a biblical worldview.
◦Their choices, their behaviour, their values, their lifestyle are governed by scripture.

2.People who bring out the best in you◦People who improve and empower you - the adders and multipliers
◦People who are not intimidated by your success and progress.
◦People who are so committed to your ultimate success that they are not afraid to tell you when you get it wrong.

3.People who are going in the direction that you are going.◦They may be ahead of you or behind you, but they're going the same direction
◦Remember when God wants to bless you, He sends someone into your life.
◦Everybody needs that one connection that will help them make it to the next level.
Laban had a Jacob. Ruth had a Naomi. Pharaoh had a Joseph. Joseph had a butler. The Ethiopian Eunuch had a Philip. The Philippian jailor had a Paul. Paul had a Barnabas.
You have a SOMEBODY… and somebody has a YOU!
The way you treat your god-connections will determine whether or not they stay.
NURTURE YOUR GOD-CONNECTIONS!
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