ARTICLES

DATE:  28 September 2003

SPEAKER:  Pastor Tayo Adeyemi

TITLE: Transforming your attitude.

TEXT:

Proverbs 18:24, 23:7, Gal 6:7

Last week in trying to find out why, each person has the attitude they have, we established these foundational truths.
1. Attitude is developed - no one was born with a good or bad attitude.
2. Attitude is a choice - no one forces you to think, feel or behave the way you do.
3. Attitude is not formed automatically or at random - there are factors that contribute to the shaping of attitude.
We learnt that in early years, attitude is more influenced by environment, but as our age increases, so do our choices. And the older we become, the more our attitude is a product of choice.
We learnt five basic principles of attitude formation.
i. There is no such thing as a perfect attitude.
ii. The early years are the most important for instilling the right attitude.
iii. Attitude development never stops.
iv. Any attitude that is reinforced becomes stronger.
v. Different people contribute to the formation of our attitude.
We examined six factors that shape attitude
i. Personality
ii. Environment
iii. Words
iv. Self Image
v. Experiences
vi. Peer Influence
We also considered six dangers of negative attitude,
i. It creates shadows of doubt
ii. Blows problems out of proportion
iii. Prevents us from enjoying life
iv. Adversely affects the people around us
v. Limits God's power in our lives
vi. Hinders our intimacy with God
We however concluded with the good news that no one is stuck with a negative attitude - attitude can be transformed.
And this is what we want to look at today. Romans 12:2. Paul, in this passage, presents us with two options - two options that in reality, we are confronted with each and every day of our lives:
- You can be exactly as the world expects you to be - a common ordinary earthling like everyone else. You can turn out like 'Regular Joe' or 'Regular Jane'. OR
- You can make a quality decision to be different - to stand out, to be uncommon in your outlook, approach and response to life.
Each one of us can be transformed anytime we choose to be. Your transformation is not God's prerogative - it is yours.
- You can either be a victim of your attitude or a master of your attitude - it's all a matter of choice; and the choice is all yours.
Now, Paul goes on to say; "If you choose transformation, I'll show you how to achieve it, but first you must make the choice" Attitude is not permanent. You are not stuck with your attitude. If you don't like it, you can change it.

SEVEN STEPS FOR TRANSFORMING YOUR ATTITUDE

1. Take responsibility for your present attitude.
Since Adam pointed to Eve in the garden of Eden, human beings have become experts at playing the blame game. The immature person blames everything and everybody else for their bad attitude, but the mature person understands that "the buck stops here"; and learns to ask the question: "How did I become like this?" When you question the juvenile mind about his attitude, he either woke up on the wrong side of the bed or he was born on the wrong side of the tracks, or he was the wrong birth order in the family, or he married the wrong person, or he has the wrong boss, or he lives in the wrong country, or he is the wrong colour. It's a glorious day in a man's life, the day he wakes up and takes responsibility for his attitude. That is the day he truly grows up and becomes a man.
2. Recognise that you are not the same as your attitude.
A lot of people are afraid to admit that they have a bad attitude, because they believe it automatically makes them a bad person. It is possible for a good person to have a bad attitude.
- Your heart and your intentions may be right, but your approach may be wrong.
- There are lots of nice people with a rotten attitude, and very easily people conclude are nasty.
- We all have met people who just don't know how to talk - and deep inside, they may be good people.
3. Evaluate your present attitude
This is perhaps the most important step. Be ruthless with your self - be mercilessly honest.
- Take your attitude and expose it to the laser beam of God's word.
There are three key elements of attitude:
- Thinking
- Feelings
- Behaviour
Each of these elements flows from the other:
- Your thinking will affect your feelings; and both in turn will affect your feelings; and both in turn will determine your behaviour.
- What you do in turn affects how you think.
But it all starts with your thinking. Proverbs 23:7. This is why transformation begins when you change your thinking.
Norman Vincent Peale once asked the owner of a tatoo shop, why anyone would ask for the tatoo "Born to lose". The shop owner answered in broken English "Before tatoo on body, tatoo on mind".
Our feelings come from our thoughts; so if we can control our thoughts, we can control our feelings: - Ask yourself a few searching questions:

a) What kind of thoughts constantly dominate my mind?
- What situations trigger negative thinking in me? When and how does it start?
- How can I arrest it before it gets out of hand?
b) When you feel bad without any apparent person, stop and ask yourself: "why am I feeling the way I am feeling right now?"
- Verbalise your answer - if possible write it down, try to describe your feelings in words.
- Then ask yourself: "am I compelled to feel this way, or do I have a choice in the matter?
- You will find that 100% of the time, you have a choice.
c) Why do I do the things that I do? How can I make sure my negative feelings do not degenerate into negative behaviour?
Now in order to change your attitude, you must change your thinking - Romans 12:2
- And the quickest way to change your thinking is to change your vocabulary.
- You cannot move from negative thinking to positive thinking without changing from negative talking to positive talking.
Eliminate some words from your vocabulary: I can't, I an not able, I am too……..to, I don't have the time, I don't believe, I don't care, I'm not sure I can, it's impossible. No.
d) Ask God to give you the desire to change.
All lasting change begins with desire - and God can put the desire in your heart - Philippians 2:12,13 Aleida Hussein was a 78 year old Dutch lady who had been a heavy smoker for 50 years. She had tried everything possible to give up with no success. Then she met Leo Jenson, a 79 year old man, and fell in love with him. He proposed marriage but refused to go ahead with the wedding until she quit smoking. She did. You can do just about anything if the desire is strong enough.
e) Translate your desire into action
Study the word daily - confess scriptures about those areas where you want your attitude to change e.g. hot temper, grumpiness, laziness, cynicism etc.
Pray about it everyday
Be grateful
Expect good things to happen to you
Be nice to people.
f) Associate with people of positive attitude - Proverbs 13:20
It's official - your associations will determine your attitude - If you spend all day hanging around grouchy, ungrateful complainers, you will wind up like them. - Attitude is contagious.
g) Take one day at a time
Negative attitude was not developed in a day, and it will not be transformed overnight. - So, in working to transform your attitude, you will slip up from time to time. - But don't let yesterday's failures and tomorrow's challenges spoil today's possibilities. Start each day with a confession: "This morning I choose to think positive thoughts, I choose to have positive feelings, regardless of what comes my way, I choose to respond with positive behaviour"
Remember, nobody forces you to think, feel or behave the way you do - its all your decision.
GOD WANTS TO TRANSFORM YOUR ATTITUDE - WILL YOU LET HIM?
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