ARTICLES ON GRACE

DATE:  13 April 2003

SPEAKER:  Pastor Tayo Adeyemi

TITLE:  Amazing Grace - Please allow me to be myself

TEXT:  Ephesians 2:8,9; John 1:17

Last week, we reminded ourselves that it is the responsibility of the church to dispense grace. Unfortunately, for the most part, we have done just the opposite. We have become experts in dispensing "ungrace".
We suggested that, perhaps the reason why we have forgotten how to dispense grace is that we have forgotten how to receive it. We looked at the life of Paul, the apostle as the most prolific dispenser of grace in the New Testament. It is no coincidence that he, more than any other New Testament personality, also knew how to receive the grace of God.
We have not been effective in dispensing grace, because it has been very difficult for us to understand it. In our economy, grace is ridiculous - perhaps even scandalous.

• God's dealings with Jacob, David, Samson, Peter and Paul all defy our logic of fairness and justice.
• But that is exactly the power of grace - its unfairness.

Grace costs the receiver nothing; and costs the giver everything. As we get hold of this two - dimensional understanding of grace, we will become better stewards of it.
Grace is two dimensional. There is vertical grace and there is horizontal grace. Vertical grace is that which we receive from God, and horizontal grace is that which we release towards others.
Horizontal grace has many ramifications:

• Forgiving people for what they have done to you
• Accepting them for who they are
• Helping them to find true forgiveness from God and true liberty in Christ
• The list goes on...

But today, I want to focus on just one aspect of horizontal grace: - ALLOWING OTHERS TO BE THEMSELVES.

PLEASE ALLOW ME TO BE MYSELF

1 Corinthians 15:9,10. None of us earned the right to be here - we are all here by the grace of God. - "By the grace of God, I am what I am."
But we very quickly forget this truth. And even though we have received vertical grace, we failed to release horizontal grace. Somehow, we feel we have a corner on God's word about how everyone else should be. We convince ourselves that we have this divine mandate to sort everyone out. An if they are not all we think they should be, something must be wrong ... with them of course.

PLEASE ALLOW ME TO BE MYSELF

There are too many strong human tendencies within all of us that prevent others from being themselves. These tendencies are so subtle, that many of us do not even recognised that we have them. What are they? They are:

• The tendency to compare
• The tendency to control

The tendency to compare

There is something inside every one of us that makes us comfortable with those who are similar to us.
We prefer sameness, predictability and common interests. And if anyone does not fit into the boundaries of what we consider acceptable or normal, we get nervous. It is extremes of this tendency that degenerate into racism, sexism and other expressions of the xenophobia.
If, based on our own bounds of what is normal, a person is better than us, we compete with them. If they worse, we criticise them. - and it all happens very subtly.
God designed us to be different. Not everyone will share your taste in music, or like the sort of car you like, or raise their kids the way you raise yours. - let them be!
God is glorified in our variety, not in our sameness. God's only standard for our similarity is the character and image of His son, Jesus Christ. Everything else is a matter of taste and of personal preference.

The tendency to control

Again this is a very subtle tendency - and we seldom agree that we have it; but it's there. People who are controlling are usually very insecure; and their security lies in their ability to manipulate and intimidate others to do their bidding. - their methods are rather insidious - fear mongering, subtle hints, bible verses, prayer, pity, concealed threats.

PLEASE ALLOW ME TO BE MYSELF

Romans 14:1-23. This passage provides us with four keys for releasing horizontal grace towards our brethren.

• Accept others for who they are: Romans14:1-4
  In order to let me be myself, you have to learn to accept me for who I am. You may not agree with everything about me, but the love of God constraints you to accept me.

The problem among the Roman believers was not a meat problem, it was a love problem. When believers go to war over doctrinal or cultural differences, there is a major deficiency of love.
Don't judge those who you believe are less spiritual than you. And don't despise those who you think have taken their spirituality too far - Romans 14:3. Why? Because God has accepted both of you. The issue in this particular context was meat of sacrifice to idols; and indeed most of us will not have a problem with that.
But let us consider a few issues that might cause problems today Going to the movies, wearing make-up, going to the beach - especially if you wear bikinis, watching television, not having your "quiet time" every morning, eating in certain types of restaurants, wearing certain types of clothing - or jewellery, driving certain types of cars, listening to certain types of music, dancing - flamingo, salsa, ballroom, disco - whatever, having a face lift or other kind of plastic surgery, going to the gym in leotards.
Accepting others means they are valued for who they are - it means allowing them to be real. It means people can express themselves without feeling they have to live up to someone's expectations. It means knowing others will not pronounce judgement on you, even if they don't agree with you. It doesn't mean you will never be corrected, or rebuked for being wrong. It simply means you can be yourself and no one will condemn you for it.

• Allow others to grow at their own pace: Romans 14:5-8
  We must give people room to make up their minds - even though some will take longer than we desire. Don't push people into spiritual maturity; because it's only a fine line away from control and manipulation. Don't be a brother basher or a sister smasher.that's exactly what the devil wants to see.
  
  
• Don't play God in the lives of others Romans 14: 9-18 The moment you start to judge another person, however so subtly, you have usurped the position of God in their lives. And that is a very dangerous place to be. Why must you resist the temptation to judge others?

1.You don't know all the facts.
2.You cannot read people's motives.
3.It is very difficult to be 100% objective.
4.You yourself are imperfect and inconsistent.

53 residents of a particular neighbourhood once signed a petition to stop reckless driving on their streets. As a result, the police set up a watch. A few nights later, five offenders were caught. All five had signed the petition!

• In expressing your liberty, be sensitive to others: Romans 14:13-20

Because you are not to your own, because you are bought with a price, your aim must be to please the lord and not yourself. We will differ in our personal interpretations of certain scriptures - especially the grey areas. And of course there are grey areas in the Bible! So if your conscience and convictions allow you to do something a fellow believer would not do, don't get in their way with your liberty. - Maturity demands that you do not flaunt your liberty especially if it offends others.

Now the big question that arises out of all of this is: "isn't this risky business? If we allow people to be themselves as a manifestation of horizontal grace, will they not take it too far? Will they not take undue liberties and abuse the very grace being extended to them?"
Of course it is risky business. Of course people will take it to extremes. Even right now, some who have heard what I have said so far have heaved a sigh of relief, because now they have received the justification for their sinful indulgences and excesses.
But it is the possibility of such a risk that gives grace its power. God is big and strong enough to realise that it is possible to abuse the freedom that he gives us - yet He chose to give it to us. The pertinent question is are you big and strong enough to handle it? The issue here is not about how risky grace is, the issue is about how mature you are.
Every time a parent tosses their car keys to their teenage child, they are taking a risk. - The child can act irresponsibly, drive recklessly, damage the car, and worse still kill himself. - He has been given unrestrained control of such a powerful and potentially dangerous machine - there is a risk involved.
But most times, a higher law kicks in. The child says: "my parents have trusted me with this car. The car means so much to them; I mean even more to them. They have given me more than the car - they have given me their trust. I have a responsibility to protect it. I will not do anything stupid" Galatians 5:13. For those who have still decided to go ahead and abuse the grace of God, let me give you three reminders:

• Remember that grace is not your right or entitlement - it is an undeserved privilege

You did nothing to earn the grace of God. Be grateful for it - it is a privilege.

• Remember that grace cost Jesus His life.
  
  To you it may be free, but it was very expensive when Jesus purchased it for us. - Every time you are tempted to abuse it, think of what it does to Him.
  `
  
• Remember that sin has its consequences - and grace will not deliver you from them.

Grace does not mean you will never have to pay for your sins. Grace means God has wiped away you're past; and given you a brand new start. Grace means you are free to chose right or wrong. But it does not mean you will come out unscathed if you choose wrong.
Romans 5:20, 6:1,2,15,23 Verse 2 - ""Certainly not!", "Perish the thought!", "No way!", "Never, never, never!", "Don't even think of it!", "God forbid!" Sin has consequences:
"Sin impairs the sight and leads to blindness, sin numbs the hearing and tends to make men deaf. Sin perverts the taste, causing people to confuse bitter with sweet and sweet with bitter. Sin hardens the touch and eventually renders a man completely dead to feeling. Sin blocks and chokes the five senses of the spirit. By sin we are desensitised, rendered imperceptive and our ability to receive is diminished. Sin causes people to become callous. It kills the spirit until people can no longer feel the pain that even God inflicts" - John Henry Jowett

What are the consequences of sin?

• Your fellowship with God is broken
• God removes His hand of blessing
• You are tormented with a guilty conscience
• Your spiritual growth is stunted
• Your self esteem is lost
• Your relationship with other Christians is strained
• You bring reproach to your family and to the name of Christ
• You damage the testimony of your local church

You have the freedom to choose, but do the right thing - choose righteousness.
We will allow you to be yourself, but please be the "self" that God wants you to be.

PLEASE ALLOW ME TO BE MYSELF
TO ORDER THIS MESSAGE ON AUDIO OR VIDEO TAPE, CALL 020 88 555 888 NOW.